+ALLIES: Navigating professional events
Don't skip the event. RSVP "yes."
đ„ Introducing +Allies
Unemployment is not a solo experience. The people we touch will share in it. While all Docent's post will help you better understand unemployment, post tagged +Allies directly speak to Allies. Find all the +Allies posts in the newly create +Allies tab.
Attending an event where youâre going to be asked about your job can be dreadful. You may be tempted to skip but donât let your job status rob everyone the joy of your company. These events are opportunities to connect with old and new friends. RSVP âyes.â
Everyone feels the pressure to show up with an Instagram worthy life. Thereâs a term for this, relative depravation. In Generations, Jean Twenge writes for Millennials well-off is relative.
Social media and TV showcase those at the very top of the income distribution (or at least those who appear to be at the very top), giving a skewed view of othersâ income. The result is whatâs called relative deprivation - a feeling that youâre not doing well compared to others, even if, objectively, you are.
IRL weâre all human. Instead of avoiding the event, navigate it better.
Make a game plan
Preparing relieves you from having to figure it all out on the spot. Compose a response for the question âwhat do you do?â Practice your response to help reduce the stress of answering it. Also, decide ahead of time if and when you want to share your unemployment. Keep in mind that unemployment is a state, not a trait.
âïž What if I get stuck? Use breathwork to regain your composure and relax. Take a moment to gather your thoughts. We can all wait! If you want an excuse, chalk it up to remote work. Weâre all rusty from working virtually.
Answering âWhat do you do?â
Zoom out and highlight your career instead of your job. Remember a job is only one component of your career, which continues to evolve.
đŹ Iâm a [function] and I work on [type of projects].
âïž What if the person keeps digging? Three options to consider.
Delve into your expertise or previous experience.
đŹ A recent project of mineâŠ
Redirect the conversation.
If you feel comfortable, share you are between jobs and ask for help in the search.
đŹ Iâm in the process of looking for whatâs next.
Enlist the help of a friend
If you feel comfortable and you know a friend will be attending the same event, ask for support. Let them know how youâre feeling and share how they can help.
đŹ Iâm feeling a bit nervous about attending this mixer while between jobs. Will you please walk around with me and help me change the topic?
Expand the conversation
Take a cue from the dating apps. They know questions like âhow are youâ and âwhat do you do for workâ ends chat. Thatâs why they provide prompts to make conversations more engaging.
I suspect the last thing people want to talk about during their time off is work.
They just donât know what to say.
You can go with the tried and tested âhowâs your dayâ or borrow some non-romantic prompts from the apps
What emoji describes your current mood?
When did you last stay up and why?
What did you usually get in trouble for as a kid?
If you want to go deeper, try Esther Perelâs game, Where Should We Begin? Iâve never played but the goal is to share stories.
If youâre in the group, help out
If youâre conversing in a group, you can help out in a variety of ways.
Kick off the conversations with a non-job related topic.
Be inclusive and stick to topics everyone can discuss. You never know the employment status of a stranger.
If someone shares their unemployment, show empathy instead of sympathy.
If you feel comfortable, share your unemployment experience when someone shares theirs.
Be respectful. Some topics may be fodder for the public but are personal to the people living it.
Donât let your job status impact your decision to attend an event. Build a plan to navigate tit better and to reduce the stress of answering job related questions. Expand the conversation and help out when you're in group. And most of all, donât forget to have fun! At the end of the day, while these events are an opportunity to network, they are also an opportunity meet old friends and make new ones.
Feedback? We appreciate constructive feedback and topic suggestions. Share here.